Sunday

I have been in love. Once.
I have never had a relationship that has lasted more than 6 months.
I have had my heart seriously broken, but not because the relationship truly was a serious one.
I don't have a boyfriend, and haven't for some time.

Yes.

But before you judge my inexperience for the affairs of the heart, let me explain.
This column in a hopeful attempt at deciphering the modern relationship through experiences both past and present. I am hoping to learn what I can of love, lust, and the like by asking the questions of my heart and mind each week. Only by asking the unasked can we learn and work through the immense hormones and emotions, towards truth. I am navigating the love labryinth to the best of my ability, and this column is my vague attempt at clasping the thread that leads me home.

So why does Darcy hold the thread?
Mr. Darcy has captivated women through Pride and Prejudice for centuries. He's a distant fellow that slowly learns to love, shows his vulnerability and his pride simultaneously, and eventually reveals himself to be a charmingly awkward man completely in love with a woman for everything that she is and isn't.

However an obvious question remains to be asked: didn't Jane Austen die alone? Yes, and Mr. Darcy is a complete work of fiction. He does not and never will exist. And even if he did...do we really want a Darcy?

I believe that women want someone that allows them independence. That respects them and admires them for who they truly are--not their glossed Facebook page credentials. A man in the 1800s, who doesn't constantly try to unzip their pants. A man who tells the truth, however awkward. A man who is a man; not someone who hopelessly falls into a helpless heap of flowers, candy, and shamefully bad poetry. Women want the idea of a modern Mr. Darcy. And I believe that we should hold to that idea. The idea that Mr. Darcy is right around the corner in time, to be met tomorrow.

Mr. Darcy holds the thread, because he is the raw idea of the man that all women desperately cling to when our hearts are broken and exposed. But also the man that we reach towards in times of hope.

Dearest Darcy...where do we go from here?